jayhat

Archive for the ‘Food’ Category

XX does things like eating oranges like apples.

In Food, novelish on October 11, 2010 at 8:34 pm

XX ate oranges like an apple, skin and all. No reason to wash them, he said, same reason there’s no reason to wash apples: we breathe air every day, he asks—the shit they put in there can’t be no worse for you than whatever they put on this shit.

Bugs live in the air, Rudd said to him. Pests live in the air.

So, XX asks.

So, Rudd said, they don’t live in apples or oranges because of the shit they put on them.

XX shook his head. That’s just because the shit messes with their chemical receptors—ain’t like they’re allergic. They’re just confused.

How’s that make it any better, Rudd said.

XX shrugged and said: ‘Cause I ain’t confused right now.

What mushrooms are like

In Food on August 12, 2009 at 10:45 pm

A chicken is like a duck. A duck is like goose. They all go back to fishies.

A cow is like a pig. A pig is like a lamb. They all go back to fishies.

A plum is like a cherry. A cherry is like a grape. They all go back to ferns.

A cucumber is like a zucchini. A zucchini is like a gourd. They all go back to ferns.

A mushroom is like a toadstool. A toadstool is like a truffle. They all go back to athlete’s foot.

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