Shortly before everything went up in a ball of fiery molten hell, a poll was conducted by the Census and Statistics Authority that, ostensibly, was intended to find out how the government might better spend intranational defense funds.

At least insofar as the public eye was concerned.

In a poll distributed to nearly 3,500 consenting adults, auditors asked a number of preliminary questions ranging from socioeconomic status to education to knowledge of current events.

They even asked what brand of bud they wore.

Then, they were given a list of fifteen potential ways that the world might end. Number 16 was “Other.” Below that was the question “How?” and a few blank lines for free response, at the bottom of which was a small line of text reading “If more space is required for response, please write on another sheet and attach.”

Respondents were then asked to rank the cataclysms in terms of perceived likelihood.

The results of the poll and the implications therein were disputed within media for weeks. Many respondents failed to rank “Other,” while others ranked “other” without giving explanation of what “other” might be. Others misunderstood the intent of the “How?” and wrote, instead, explanations of why they ranked such and such wherever or discussed what they were thinking about or feeling or, simply, “Because.”

Many people in media pointed to the vagueness of the poll, discussing it as just another failure of a malarkey administration, another failure of a corrupt government entity, an indication of a broader public ignorance or a general disregard for testing in the schools, another reason the CSA is unreliable, etc.

The results became a punchline. Extra terrestrial alien invasion was third. God was fifth.

Incidentally, media called the poll “The End Day Survey.” Its actual name: “Public Poll A039281-29: Requested By The Department Of Defense At The Urging Of The Secretary Of Intranational Defense.”