jayhat

Archive for December, 2010|Monthly archive page

It can be hard to hold a conversation with someone else when your bud’s been hacked

In novelish, What people are on December 21, 2010 at 10:56 pm

“What did you say?” She said.

“Huh?” Rudd said.

“What?” said Rudd’s bud.

“I asked what you said,” she said.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Rudd said to his bud.

“Huh?” she said.

“Wait,” Rudd said.

“Listen to me,” said Rudd’s bud.

“No,” Rudd said. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Fuck off,” she said. “Fuck you.”

“No,” Rudd said. “Hang on.”

“What?” she said.

“You’re in danger,” said Rudd’s bud. “And so is she.”

“What?” Rudd said.

“Huh?” she said.

“Wait,” Rudd said. “Hang on—my fucking bud.”

“Your fucking bud might save your life,” said Rudd’s bud. “If you listen.”

“Fuck you,” Rudd said.

“Alright,” she said. “This is too jerked off. I’m out.”

“No,” Rudd said. “You’re in danger.”

“Huh?” she said.

“Good man,” said Rudd’s bud.

Rudd smacked his temple. “Shut the fuck up,” Rudd said, cupping his ear and turning away from her. “Seriously.”

“Bye,” she said. “You’re seriously messed up, dude.”

“No,” Rudd said. “I’m not—my fucking bud—it got hacked and now some asshole keeps talking to me and won’t shut the fuck up,” he said.

“Fuck you,” she said.

“No,” Rudd said. “Seriously, this is totally fucked and I’m sorry. Just listen.”

“What,” she said.

“You’re in danger,” Rudd said. Then like a confession, “I’m in danger,” he said. “We’re in danger.”

“How so?” she said. “By who?”

“I don’t know,” Rudd said. “But that’s what my bud told me.”

“Alright,” she said. “This is seriously too fucked. I’m out.”

A Man in Rudd’s Bud

In novelish on December 16, 2010 at 10:49 pm

“I’m not a hacker,” the man said. “Trust me.”

“Not a chance,” Rudd said. “Get out of my head.”

“Not a chance,” the man said. “There’s no other way to do this.”

“Pussy,” Rudd said. “If you were man enough to show your face, I’d punch the shit out of it.”

“Exactly,” the man said. “Which is most of the problem.” He paused a beat. “You have serious trust issues, Rudd. When this is all history, I suggest you look into therapy.”

“Fuck off,” Rudd said.

“Not a chance,” the man said. “Do you have any idea how difficult it is to hack one of these things?”

“You said you weren’t a hacker.”

“I’m not,” the man said. “But sometimes duty calls.”

“Who are you,” Rudd said. It wasn’t a question.

“Nobody,” the man said. “Not someone you know, nor someone you’ll ever meet.”

“Awesome,” Rudd said.

“Think of me as Jiminy Cricket or Gollum.” He paused. “Except I don’t give a fuck about your ring.”

Rudd looked down at his right middle finger where his silver band rested. He balled a fist, then stretched his middle finger to the sky.

“You need help, Rudd,” the man said. “Simple as that. And I’m sympathetic to your cause. And I can help.”

“Fuck off,” Rudd said. “That’s how you can help. I don’t need help, especially from some pussy bitch who won’t show his face.”

“Not gonna happen, Rudd,” the man said. “This is way too important.”

Glowing crystals you say…

In Imagination, novelish on December 1, 2010 at 7:49 pm

“There was a man,” the man said, his voice still barely more than a whisper. “I never told mother about him.”

Rudd yawned.

“He came to me and he told me about this place, a glowing room underneath the earth that had green glowing crystals that were the keys to heaven’s gate.” The man paused. “I asked mother to find a man like you. I didn’t tell her why, but I need you to go find those crystals for me.” He coughed. “It was a long time ago—I was just a boy, but I’ve held onto the image my whole life.” The man’s eyes cleared and he caught Rudd’s gaze. “Sir,” he said, “I need you to find that room. I need you to bring me a glowing green crystal.”

Rudd shook his head. “That’s probably the dumbest thing anyone’s ever asked me to do,” which was an incredible statement, considering his vocation.

“Dumb or not, they exist,” the man said. “And mother will be paying you handsomely for your time.”

“Goddamn right she will.”

“You think I’m crazy.”

“Of course I do.”

“I’m not crazy.”

“Ok.”

“Find me that crystal and you’ll be rewarded even more handsomely.”

“If you say so.”

“They exist, just like you and I exist, sir,” he said. “Trust me.”

“If you say so.”

“And mother can’t know. It would scare her to think I was giving up.”

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